Ripple Effect of Anger: Ways to manage it

Do you know your anger can travel? It can travel from one place to another through one person to another. Couldn’t understand this? Have you ever noticed, when you throw a stone in water it causes ripple by affecting its surrounding? Your anger causes the same ripple by affecting the people around you.

Let’s say, for example, your boss got angry and scolded you in the office for poor presentation. You come home and take out all the frustration and anger of your boss on your wife; your wife takes her anger out on your son; your son lets his anger out on his little sister and it goes on… Now assume that your daughter does not have any channel to put her anger out; what happens then? It will stay inside her and would be really bad for her mental health, which may come in front of you later in life when you wouldn’t even expecting it.

That’s how anger travels from place to place. But what do we do now? Should we just keep it inside us and suffer? No! Give yourself a channel to bring it out in a positive manner and save your loved ones.

The following are several ways to let go of your anger in a productive manner without hurting anyone.

Note your Physical Signs

Everyone has physical symptoms when they get triggered; for instance, some people get teary when they are angry, some might fist and some might grind their teeth. Notice your symptoms and next time whenever you get that symptom in a situation, immediately try to calm yourself down by breathing exercises or by escaping from that situation.

Focus on your Thoughts

Focus on thoughts that are escalating the anger. Awareness of negative thoughts is a very essential step that helps in controlling it. Through practice, you can “Stop” your negative thoughts that act as fuel in the fire of your anger. Every day sit down for 5 minutes and be mindful of your thoughts. Try to stop stressful thoughts by imagining a red stop sign in your head or by whispering “stop” or “All is well”, as said in 3 idiots movie. With practice over time, you will be able to control your thoughts.

Writing Catharsis

When you are angry you need an immediate channel to let it go. Therefore, the best way is to write it down straight away in a notebook. There are many apps. in your cell phones too where you can jot it down. By writing it down, the first benefit is that the bottled-up negativity will be out of you. Secondly, with the help of the written form, you can analyze whether your anger is reasonable or not. While writing it down you will be calming yourself and will make yourself to be able to make decisions appropriately.

Stress Ball

Anger produces negative energy in your body. Thus, through stress ball one can release that negative energy. Squeezing the stress ball with rhythmic breathing can serene you.

Draw or Sing it Out

Art is an amazing way to let that anger go; use different colors to draw your own masterpiece. Sing the lyrics that are according to your situation or play any instrument. You can also dance to release that energy.

Empty Chair Technique

Set two chairs in front of each other and sit on one chair. Imagine, the person you are angry with is sitting on the other one. Say all the things you wanted to say to that specific person; shout all you want. For safety reasons put some pillow on the chair and you can even hit it. Verbalizing the anger can release all the bottled-up emotions you had.

Islamic Teachings about Controlling Anger

Anger is one of the most unpleasant things considered in Islam. Prophet (s.a.w.w) said the strongest among you is the one who controls himself when he is angry. Prophet (s.a.w.w) also said that if one becomes angry while standing he should sit down unless the anger leaves him well and good, otherwise he should lie down.

Prophet (s.a.w.w) said if an angry person says “I seek refuge with ALLAH from Satan” then all his anger will go away. Islam also teaches us to stay quiet while being angry, because usually in anger we say things that we regret later.

Instead of feeling apologetic about the actions, you do while being angry. Try to control the anger way before the actions take place.