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Step by Step Guide on How to Handle Tantrums in Children

Parenting is a rewarding journey filled with love, laughter, and challenges. One common challenge that parents often face is handling tantrums and nurturing positive behaviors in their children. Tantrums are a natural part of a child’s development, but they can be trying for parents. Fortunately, there are effective strategies rooted in psychology that can help you navigate these moments and encourage your child to exhibit good behavior.

How to Control Tantrums in Child?

  1. Understanding Tantrums as A Normal Part of Growth: Tantrums are often a way for young children to express their frustration or inability to communicate effectively. It’s crucial to recognize that tantrums are a common phase in a child’s development and not a reflection of parenting skills.
  2. Stay Calm and Model Composure: When a child throws a tantrum, remaining calm is key. Children learn from their parents’ reactions. By maintaining your composure, you teach your child how to handle their emotions constructively.
  3. Effective Communication by Empowering Your Child with Words: Encourage your child to express their feelings through words instead of tantrums. Teach them basic vocabulary to help articulate their emotions, fostering healthy communication.
  4. Offer Choices and Give a Sense of Control: Children crave independence. Providing them with simple choices allows them to feel in control and reduces the likelihood of power struggles that lead to tantrums.
  5. Positive Reinforcement to Encourage Good Behavior: When your child exhibits good behavior, acknowledge and praise them. Positive reinforcement reinforces the desired actions and motivates them to continue behaving positively.
  6. Time-In, Not Time-Out as Connection is Key: Instead of using time-out, opt for a time-in approach. Spend quality time together, nurturing your child’s emotional well-being and building a stronger bond.

Psychological Tricks

  • Distraction Technique: Redirect your child’s attention to something else, shifting their focus away from the trigger of the tantrum.
  • Use Imaginative Play: Engage your child’s imagination to turn a difficult situation into a playful one, helping them express their feelings in a creative way.
  • Breathing Exercises: Teach simple breathing exercises to help your child calm down during a tantrum, fostering emotional regulation.

Parenting Hack: Taming Tantrums with the 5-Step Rule

Dealing with a tantruming child can be overwhelming, but here’s a simple parenting hack that can make a significant difference in diffusing the situation and restoring calmness.

The 5-Step Rule:

  • Step 1: Pause

When your child starts throwing a tantrum, take a deep breath and pause. This moment of calmness allows you to respond instead of react.

  • Step 2: Acknowledge Emotions

Get down to your child’s level and calmly acknowledge their feelings. Use simple phrases like, “I understand you’re upset,” to let them know you’re listening.

  • Step 3: Name the Emotion

Help your child put a name to their emotions. Say something like, “It looks like you’re feeling frustrated.” This helps them understand and express their feelings better.

  • Step 4: Offer a Solution

Suggest a solution to the problem, even if it’s a simple one. For instance, “How about we take a deep breath together and talk about what’s bothering you?”

  • Step 5: Hug it Out

End the tantrum with a hug. Physical touch can help soothe their emotions and make them feel safe.

Remember, consistency is key. Over time, your child will learn to manage their emotions better, and you’ll find yourself equipped with a valuable tool to handle tantrums effectively.


  1. Why Do Tantrums Happen?Tantrums are a result of children struggling to cope with intense emotions or a lack of communication skills.
  2. Are Tantrums a Sign of Bad Parenting?Tantrums are a normal part of child development and are not solely linked to parenting skills.
  3. How Can I Prevent Tantrums in Public?Anticipate triggers and have a plan in place to distract or redirect your child’s attention when needed.


Parenting is a learning journey where both children and parents grow together. By understanding the psychology behind tantrums, employing effective strategies, and using psychological tricks, parents can create a positive environment that fosters emotional growth and good behavior in their children. Remember, patience, empathy, and consistent efforts play a significant role in raising well-rounded individuals.





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